As many experienced stoners know, there is a huge misconception of what a “stoner” can act like. There is this mainstream idea of what a stoner should act like, and it’s rarely true. This fits into the well-known stereotype of someone who sits around all day eating snacks. Weed affects the body differently depending on the person who smokes or consumes it. Although someone may experience couch-lock or the munchies, that isn’t necessarily true for everyone. Wondering what kind of stoner you may be? Here are 6 types of stoners: which one are you?
Disclaimer: This list is written for fun, and should be read as so. You can fit into one, multiple, or no categories. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.
6 Types of Stoners: The Connoisseur
The Connoisseur stoner is a highly experienced stoner who really knows their stuff when it comes to the green. It’s likely that they’ve done their research on cannabis and know their way around it. They’re open to learning more about the different aspects of cannabis. Additionally, the connoisseur stoner enjoys sharing information and weed (if you’re a good friend) during a session. They can also help guide you during your cannabis journey, as long as you don’t mess up their vibe.
They may not see weed just as a hobby but as a way of life. They’re heavily invested and do not mind splurging occasionally. These types of stoners only deal with high-quality, premium weed. Because why would you want to settle for less?
6 Types of Stoners: The Lightweight
On the contrary to a connoisseur, the lightweight may be a little less experienced with weed. Lightweight stoners are called lightweight due to their ability to feel effects very quickly. This term can also be found in people who drink alcohol. It’s another way of describing someone who gets intoxicated with little substance. Their quickness may prevent them from smoking too much.
If you need only a few hits to vibe, then you might be a lightweight. Importantly, there is nothing wrong with being a lightweight stoner. It can actually be a good thing. First, your weed lasts longer because you tend to smoke less during a session. Second, you don’t have to do as much cleaning of your pipes or bongs when you smoke less. Third, your lungs are probably better off as a lightweight compared to others.
Some lightweights can build up their tolerance. For example, most first-time smokers start off as their own form of lightweight. But with time and patience, one can build up their tolerance to keep up with the connoisseurs too.
6 Types of Stoners: The Artist
This kind of smoker is a creative and spiritual individual. These kind of stoners smoke with a purpose: to create something fantastic. As many of us know, some strains of weed can help you enter a focused and creative zone. The artist stoner takes advantage of that to work on what they need to do.
If you find yourself drawing, painting, making music, or anything creative during your smoke session, you may be an artist stoner.
6 Types of Stoners: The Solo
Although many people enjoy smoking in a social setting, others enjoy doing it on their own. Smoking solo can feel therapeutic and comforting for some. It can be pretty relaxing to enjoy a joint or bowl just by yourself. You can do whatever you want without objection from others. As Kid Cudi said, “the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night.”
If you resonate with this, you may be a solo stoner. There’s nothing wrong with that, though there are a few things to look out for. According to a research study, those who smoke cannabis on their own are more likely to screen positive for psychosis compared to those who smoke in social gatherings.
6 Types of Stoners: The Professional
The professional stoner is the total opposite of what mainstream media portrays a stoner like. This stoner is fully functional when high, and may even thrive. They’re on top of what they need to be, usually thanks to their weed. It helps them focus and get work done. The professional may smoke, but also dabble in more discreet forms of cannabis. For example, vape pens or tinctures.
If you balance your busy lifestyle, work, and weed consumption well, you may be the professional stoner.
6 Types of Stoners: The Moocher
Lastly, we have the moocher stoner. Everyone’s least favorite type of stoner. A moocher stoner is always mooching off of everyone else’s weed. They come around and smoke your stash with almost no regard. Marijuana is meant to be shared, sure. But that doesn’t mean you should take advantage of others’ kindness.
If you’re a taker who never gives, maybe you should start sharing. Do yourself, and your stoner friends a favor, and offer some quality weed during your next session.
